emmacameron.com

Art Therapy and Creative Wisdom

  • Home
  • About
  • Anxiety
  • Work With Me
    • Psychotherapy, Art Therapy & Counselling Colchester
    • Online Art Therapy
    • Creativity Coaching & Mentoring
    • Supervision
    • Therapy Client Data GDPR
  • For Therapists
  • Highly Sensitive (HSP)
  • Contact
You are here: Home / inner critic / Transforming the inner critic

Transforming the inner critic

24th May 2015 by Emma Cameron 2 Comments

transforming the inner critic

 

Do you have an Inner Critic?


A familiar harsh internal voice, reprimanding you, telling you things like “You’re so stupid… how could you have done/ thought/ said that?”


That inner critic undermines you, blocks you, limits you, and makes you feel like there’s no point even trying, because (it tells you) you’ll never be good enough.


So how can you deal with it?

How can you feel ease within yourself, and free yourself up to get on with living peacefully, productively, healthily and creatively?


I’ve come up with eleven practical ways to handle your Inner Critic.

Some may appeal to you and others won’t, but try to keep an open mind as you read through.

Don’t just try them once and decide that you’re too much of a hardened case; instead, see if you can practise them over a period of time until they begin to feel ‘real’ and part of you.

Gradually you may discover that your inner critic has become smaller, softer and more manageable.

11 ways to tame your Inner Critic Click To Tweet

1. Give it a name

Identify it. Call it something, like ‘my inner critic’ or a nickname.

You may be in the habit of always accepting your Inner Critic’s judgements as facts, and it can be quite transformative when you learn to take a step back and think ‘hang on, that sounded like my Inner Critic speaking — maybe there’s another way of looking at this’

2. Don’t battle – befriend!

Don’t try to fight with it. Yes, it limits you. Yes, it hurts you and makes you feel terrible. But when you try to tame, silence, squash or master it, you may be just making it stronger. Instead, try thinking in terms of befriending it, guiding it, calming it, and gently transforming it.

3. Recognise that it’s trying to protect you

Recognise that (strange as it may sound) your Inner Critic originated as a way of protecting you.

As little kids, we will have done all sorts of things that our parents and teachers didn’t want us to do, or exhibited feelings and behaviours that they weren’t comfortable with. So they will have used various ways to stop us, including telling-off, derogatory remarks, heavy silences, or shaming.

Because we wanted to have their love and approval, and keep the attachment bond going, we learned to try to inhibit those behaviours and feelings that were not approved of. Your Inner Critic is going ‘don’t do that! It’s not safe — if you do that you won’t be loved’.

4. Be curious – what’s it distracting you from?

When you notice your Inner Critic at work, start to be curious.

What exactly happened immediately before it started up? What feelings or thoughts were the trigger?

Maybe you were feeling powerless, or shameful, or desirous, or vulnerable. Your Inner Critic took over and distracted you from those very difficult feelings.

5. Get it out there

When it feels like there’s a battle going on inside you, between your Inner Critic and another part of you, it might help to externalise it in some way.

For example, you could represent the two viewpoints in drawing as characters or stick figures with speech bubbles giving the different points of view. Using puppets or objects can be another good way of getting more clarity about what is going on.

See if you can find a third position, where you are a compassionate, kind observer, who understands that each of these parts of you genuinely believes (in its own way) that what it is trying to do is just to keep you safe and alive.

6. Look inside

Focus in on yourself. Might there be an area of your body where you sense the Inner Critic resides?

Maybe it has a shape? A colour? Is there anything else about it? What does it want to let you know, underneath all the critical comments? Can you be kinder and gently curious towards it? Maybe if you start to take this approach, your Inner Critic will soften too and become less harsh.

7. Accept others

Start to notice how critical you are of other people. Perhaps you could begin to allow them to be ‘good-enough’, rather than wanting them to be perfect and condemning them when they aren’t.

Becoming more accepting of others’ imperfections can really help you be gentler on yourself.

Becoming more accepting of others’ imperfections can help you be gentler on yourself. Click To Tweet

8. Use creativity and humour

Try picturing your Inner Critic as a cartoon figure, or a monster.

In your mind, see if you can play with that image and start to change it, to dismantle and transform their power. Gradually they may start to seem a bit ridiculous, small or powerless — you could even change their voice tone into something tinny and silly.

9. Look after yourself

When your Inner Critic starts sniping at you, ask yourself if you would want anyone talking like that to someone you care for. If the answer is ‘no’, then reconsider whether it’s okay for you to be spoken to like that.

10. You’re whole and you’re enough!

Hang on: your Inner Critic expects you to be perfect, right? How realistic is that? You’re human! So what that you’re messy, flawed, vulnerable, prone to making mistakes — you’re like the rest of humankind! You’re also full of wonderful qualities too, so see if you can hold awareness of all your qualities, the positive ones and the ones that feel negative, and know that this is all ‘good-enough’.

Hold awareness of ALL your qualities, positive and negative, knowing you're ‘good-enough’. Click To Tweet

11. Get a therapist to help you

If your Inner Critic persists, counselling or psychotherapy could be well worth the investment.

The therapy relationship can become a safe place for you to explore and understand all of the parts of yourself, including your inner critic, so that you can heal the hurts and develop new strengths.

I work with creative, sensitive, thoughtful women who struggle with their inner critic. I see clients for therapy and counselling in north Essex, UK, and I also offer online counselling.

Contact me today for a free 15-minute consultation to see if I might be the right therapist for you.

Integrative Arts Psychotherapy and Counselling in Colchester, Essex. Online Counselling.

Filed Under: inner critic

Comments

  1. Beth says

    31st January 2019 at 1:49 pm

    Thanks for this . I have learned that as I try to be less judgmental toward others I feel less judgment against myself .

    Reply
    • Emma Cameron says

      31st January 2019 at 10:11 pm

      Yes, it’s funny how that works! 😉

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Information on this website is meant for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or psychological evaluation or treatment. If you are concerned about your mental or physical health, please see a medical doctor or mental health professional to address your concerns. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or impulses, please dial 999 or 911 to seek emergency treatment immediately. Emma Cameron does not provide emergency mental health treatment. All text and images on this site ©Emma Cameron 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and may not be copied, published or used without permission. ©Emma Cameron All Rights Reserved

Blog post categories

Recent Blog Posts

  • Emotional First-Aid Kit
  • Top Tips for New Therapists
  • EMDR Therapy – What is it?
  • What Do Experiential Therapists Ask
  • What is Experiential Therapy?
  • Trauma Therapy Has Changed – Here’s How
  • Well-Meant Advice That’s Just Wrong
  • What is AEDP?
  • Secure Attachment – What Is It and How Do You Get It?
  • Attachment – A Beginner’s Guide
  • How to Get Less Stressed at Family Gatherings
  • Ground Yourself – 12 Easy Ways to Get Calmer
  • Art Therapy – Frequently Asked Questions
  • What Happens In an Art Therapy Session?
  • Top 10 Things I Love About Being a Therapist
  • How to Manage Your Climate Anxiety
  • When I First Went to Therapy
  • Addicted to Worrying?
  • Heartfelt Summer Fiction Recommended by Therapists
  • Feel More Secure Inside with Attachment Based Therapy
  • Coaching or Therapy – What Do I Need?
  • 7 Myths About Coaching vs Therapy
  • Therapy Works. Here’s How I Know
  • What is PTSD?
  • Why NOW Could Be the Perfect Time to Go to Therapy

Copyright © 2023 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in